“What you don’t know” by Lulu Wang is a story made by Lulu Wang’s family hiding their grandmother’s, Nai Nai, stage 4 cancer diagnosis from her. On passage she talks about how she didn’t necessarily agree with the decision of hiding the secret from her grandmother and they should have handled it.
Did you agree with the family's choice to deceive Wang's grandmother? I agree with the decision of hiding it from her because she was genuinely ill, as described on the broadcast, and hiding a secret would just add more tension and stress to her as she is. Nai Nai’s sister was the one who had to tell the heartbreaking news to the family and she made the decision of hiding it from her sister and that should have been hard on her. Of course, some people would have a counter argument saying that it would be a horrid thing to do since the grandmother should have a say in what they were going to do with her life. But in my defense, hiding a secret for the well being of her grandmother was the right thing to do in this situation. I understand how they wanted her to live her life to the fullest since the doctor expected her to live for 3 more months. They even flew to China for a family member’s wedding just so she can see her beloved grandson get married. Although, she would live longer than her expectancy of 3 months, she actually lived to over 3 years, she would’ve gotten sicker over time if they gave her the horrid news. She would lose hope in fighting the lung cancer and prepare herself to the loss of her life. I liked a quote that Lulu Wang said about her grandmother outliving her expectancy and she said something along the lines of “washing out her misfortune with joy”. So to keep the secret from her grandmother for her own well being is a good decision in my perspective. When have you made an important choice to tell someone a difficult truth or you made an important choice to tell a lie that had a major impact on you and/or someone else? This story related to me in so many ways and I am glad I read it. But one situation it applied to me most was the time my husband had to get operated for an open heart surgery.My two kids at the time were 7 and 4 and enjoyed their life being a kid. My kids didn’t quite understand what was happening except for the fact that they got to sleepover their friends house for a couple days on school nights, which was every kids dream. My kids had a normal day and didn’t think much of their parents since they were just kids. I still got to see them but I felt bad every time I had to lie to them when they asked to go home and expect to see their dad. My friends all told me that my kids should know but I thought otherwise because most kids didn’t have to deal with the trauma of their dad having a serious surgery at a young age. The day of the surgery eventually came and my kids were excited to sleepover with their friends again. I was on the road to the hospital talking to my friend who I had let my children stay over at. When we started talking about how worried I was about the surgery, all I could hear over the phone was a familiar voice over the phone crying. My oldest son was crying and he was worried about his dad. He kept asking questions that I tried to avoid and this was the reason why I didn’t want to tell my kids. When I ask my oldest son today how he felt about that situation, he describes it to me as “the most miserable time of my life and all I could think about was being an orphan at 7 years old”. This is the reasoning behind why I agree with Lulu Wang lying to her grandmother about her diagnosis.
3 Comments
Sabatino
2/14/2018 12:05:38 pm
Thank you for sharing this post. You argumentative response provides a clear position as well as a clear rationale for why you have your opinion. Sidenote: I am glad you enjoyed the reading.
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Christine
2/15/2018 11:02:11 am
I can relate to your story and understand on how we try to protect our children the harsh realities of life. I chose not to tell my 20-year old daughter about my diagnosis with cancer. As it turned out I was right not to worry her.
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Christine
2/15/2018 11:03:53 am
I completely forgot to tell you that I am from the 9:35 class.
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